I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
