I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
