They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I would ride that face into the sunset
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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