this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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