found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize