This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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