So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
