Just mADE A PArabola og urine
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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