whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
