Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
