If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
