I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
