I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
