Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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