Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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