I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
