please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
