i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
