I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
