I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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