omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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