Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
