Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize