My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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