dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
