He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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