he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
