I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
