Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
