i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm sobbing to NWA
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
