Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
