so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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