I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
