I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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