I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
