this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
