I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
