nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
