grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sarcasm needs its own font
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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