I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just had sex bonerless
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
