My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
