Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
