I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
should my penis look like a turkey
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
