so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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