I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
