Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
