I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
