Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
