just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
