Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
