she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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