He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
