she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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