Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
