You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
