you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
