Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
