I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize