You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
