Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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