I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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