fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just come out here and I will go home with you...
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
