this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
