I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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