all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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