Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just pee around me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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